A Microphone Bigger than My Doubt

Yesterday I was watching a Christian show, and there was a defense attorney and a prosecutor preparing for trial. Before the trial, the defense attorney told the prosecutor, “I only need one person to doubt to win." Throughout the whole show I kept my eyes on the jury thinking that he actually meant - "I only need one juror to believe me to win." Boy did I read that all wrong!

To make a long story short, someone on the jury asked a question after hours and the DA started to doubt their win in the future, so they had the defendant take a plea deal for 8 years instead of life. After the trial was over, he walked into the prosecutors office and said, “When I told you I only needed one person to doubt, I wasn’t talking about the jury. I was talking about you. I knew I couldn’t beat you, so the only way I could win was to make you doubt yourself.”

That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. How many times does Satan use that exact strategy on us? He knows he can’t change God’s truth. He can’t change God’s promises. He can’t stop God’s purpose for our lives. So instead, he attacks our confidence in what God has already told us.

He whispers things like, “Who do you think you are?” “Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.” “You’re not qualified.” “Someone else can do it better.” “What if you fail?” Before we know it, we’re talking ourselves out of the very things God placed on our hearts.

For months, I had the words “Let Him” on my heart. I knew what Jesus was showing me, but I kept putting it off. I questioned it. I doubted it. I wondered if anyone would care. I wondered if anyone would understand it. Then I finally posted it.

Almost immediately, people started reaching out. They told me those words spoke directly to what they were going through. They told me it encouraged them. They told me it helped them. Then I got to Thursday service and so many people blessed me with kind words about my words. That was just the Holy Spirit using me so others don't have to deal with the same hurt that I had to deal with.

That’s when I realized something. The enemy wasn’t trying to stop me from posting. He was trying to stop someone else from receiving what Jesus wanted them to hear. It was never about me. It was about obedience. Then God took it a step further. Shortly after posting those words, I heard myself on the radio again. This was the third time in the last year that Jesus has put me on the radio - once in Nashville and twice in Houston. Four times all together (that I knew of).

The recording they were playing was from a few years ago when I was newly sober. As I listened, I felt led to call the station. I could have smiled, said, “That’s cool,” and gone on with my day. Instead, I picked up the phone. Normally, you get the DJ when you call. But this time I got the very woman who prayed for me 2½ years ago.

Not only did she answer, but she immediately recognized my voice. “Hey, Bobbie Jo! You must have heard yourself on the radio a minute ago.” We started talking, and she asked me what had been going on in my life. Then she asked what I would say to someone struggling with sobriety. My answer was simple:

"Jesus teaches us to ask for our daily bread. Don’t focus on the next year. Don’t focus on forever. Don’t focus on how you’ll make it through the rest of your life or that you will never do it again. You never want to set yourself up for failure when God gives us His grace. Trust Him today and if a day feels too hard, then take it ten minutes at a time. Trust Him for the next ten minutes. Then the next ten. Before you know it, you’ve made it through twenty-four hours, then thirty days, then two years, and so on.

When I finished, she told me how beautiful those words were. Then she asked me a question I never expected.

“Will you be willing to pray for those still dealing with addiction?”

Years ago, I was the one calling that station asking them for prayer. Now God was giving me the opportunity to pray for others, live on the radio for people fighting the same battle I once fought. In a city with over a million people.

It all started because I made one phone call, one act of obedience. That’s when it really hit me. How many times has that testimony been played when I wasn’t listening? How many people has God encouraged through words I spoke years ago? How many people have heard that message and found hope? How many lives has Jesus touched through a simple act of obedience?

I’ll probably never know this side of heaven. But what I do know is this:

If I had listened to the doubt, the post would have stayed in my drafts for more months, the phone call would never have happened, the testimony would have stayed untold, the prayer would have remained unspoken. The enemy wasn’t trying to stop me, he was trying to stop what Jesus wanted to do through me.

Maybe that’s true for you too, maybe there’s a conversation you’ve been avoiding, a testimony you’ve been withholding, a calling you’ve been delaying, a step of faith you’ve been putting off because you don’t feel qualified.

The enemy only needs one person to doubt. Don’t let it be you. God has never called the qualified. He qualifies the called. Your job is not to know everything, your job is not to have all the answers, your job is not to be perfect, your job is simply to say yes when Jesus asks and to have faith that He will use for His good!

n the other side of your obedience may be a person who needs exactly what God placed inside of you. If Satan is mad today, good, he should be.

Because every time he tried to convince me to stay silent, Jesus gave me a bigger microphone!