That Lamb Was Me

“And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.” — Luke 15:5, KJV

Before I left Texas, I had a prayer room. The first two pictures are from that room, and that picture of the little lamb was the hardest picture I ever had to part with.

I still remember seeing it at Mardel, a Christian store that is a sister company of Hobby Lobby (I cannot find anywhere around here and that was my couple of days a week stop back home). It stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t have the money to spend on it, but I bought it anyway. I had never had a picture make me feel the way that one did.

People who saw it thought I was crazy when I explained what it meant to me. But when I looked into that lamb’s eyes, I saw hurt. I saw the hurt I had carried every single day. I was just beginning to find Jesus, and somehow that picture helped me put words to something I was only starting to understand.

That lamb was me.

Lost. Hurting. Running. Jesus was pursuing me, and I was trying to get as far away as I could. I needed Him, but I hadn’t learned how to stop running and let Him love me.

Then last night, Pastor Joby held up a picture so much like mine and shared how it had stopped him in his tracks, too. Our pictures are a little different, but hearing him describe what it meant to him took me right back to that moment in Mardel. Seeing him get emotional brought my own tears, because I remembered that hurt. I remembered standing in front of mine and seeing myself in that little lamb.

Other people saw a picture on my wall. I saw a reminder that Jesus was coming after me.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells us about a shepherd who goes after one lost sheep until he finds it. And when he finds it, he puts it on his shoulders and rejoices.

Rejoices. Let that sink in.

The sheep that wandered away is the sheep he is glad to carry home. That speaks straight to the part of me that thought I had messed up too much to be loved like that.

I know what it feels like to carry pain for so long that you don’t know who you would be without it. I know what it feels like to keep running even when you’re exhausted. And I’m learning that I can bring all of that to Jesus. I don’t have to hide the hurt from the One who already knows it.

I had to leave that picture behind, but I carried its meaning with me. Last night reminded me why it mattered so much.

If you see yourself in that little lamb, too, please hear me: you matter to the Shepherd. Turn toward Him. Tell Him where it hurts. You don’t have to figure out the whole way home before you take that first step.

I’m writing this for myself, too. Because even now, there are days I need to remember that I can let Jesus carry what I keep trying to carry alone.

Questions to sit with:

1. What hurt am I still carrying that I have been afraid to bring honestly to Jesus?

2. When life gets painful, do I turn toward Him, or reach for something that helps me avoid the hurt?

3. What would it look like today to stop running and trust the Shepherd enough to follow Him?

Prayer:

Jesus, You know the hurt behind our eyes, even when nobody else understands it. Thank You for seeking the lost and rejoicing when they are found. Help us turn toward You with the pain, shame, and fear we have carried for so long. Teach us to receive Your love instead of believing we have to earn it. When we wander, lead us back. When we are weary, help us trust Your strength. Thank You that the little lamb matters to You. In Jesus’ name, amen. 🤍