When Jesus Becomes Your Auditor

“You will know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:16 (NKJV)

For the past couple of days, one word has been coming up over and over again in my life. RECONCILIATION. And when I say over and over, I mean I feel like Jesus has been saying, “RECONCILIATION, RECONCILIATION, RECONCILIATION! Girl, how many times do I have to tell you?” 😂

But today, something finally clicked, and I literally stopped in my tracks.

Let me say this before I continue my devotional, LOL... I went to school to become a coach and an English teacher. That was MY plan. But God had another one. Somehow, I ended up in accounting, and for the past 14 years, I’ve spent my days reconciling other people’s books. Finding discrepancies, tracing transactions, correcting mistakes, and figuring out why the numbers don’t match.

And if you know me, you know I am NOT the accountant who is going to write off a difference just because it’s a few pennies. Nope! We’re finding those bad boys! 😂 Because just because an account says it’s balanced doesn’t mean the information behind it is correct.

But here’s where it gets interesting. Fourteen years of trying to explain that something wasn’t right. And today I realized that for so much of my life, I’ve been trying to reconcile things that simply didn’t add up. Then Jesus brought me right back to the word RECONCILIATION.

I’m a woman of my word. If I tell you I’m going to do something, I mean it. I believe in honesty, integrity, and doing the right thing even when nobody is watching. And because that’s how I try to live, I’ve spent most of my life assuming everybody else operates the same way.

But that’s not how this world works. I’ve spent so much time trying to understand why people say one thing and do another. Why someone talks about someone but acts like their friend. Why promises don’t match actions. Why someone’s words can sound so beautiful while their behavior tells a completely different story.

And I think I’m finally understanding something.

I’ve been reconciling people’s bank accounts for 14 years, but I haven’t always been reconciling their words with their actions.

Think about that! As an accountant, I would NEVER accept somebody simply telling me their books are correct. I need supporting documentation. I need to see the transactions. I need to know where the money went. So why have I spent so much of my life accepting people’s words without looking at the fruit their actions produce?

Jesus didn’t tell us we’d recognize people by their promises, their reputation, their connections, or how convincingly they speak. He said we’d recognize them by their FRUIT. Then came another realization that hit even harder. This isn’t just about examining everybody else’s fruit. It’s about examining MY OWN.

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” — James 1:22 (NKJV)

DECEIVING YOURSELVES. Whew! Because I’ve been so busy trying to make everything right, trying to fix things, trying to prove myself, and trying to fulfill responsibilities that I’ve sometimes deceived myself into believing I had to keep sacrificing my own peace to do it.

I’ve worked nights, weekends, and hours that belonged to the life God was teaching me to live. And somewhere along the way, I started confusing being dedicated with being obligated to keep giving more of myself than I had to give. Another word I’d been studying was DEVIATE. Now I’m looking at those two words together.

Have I been DEVIATING from the life I’m asking Jesus to lead me into because I’ve been DECEIVING myself into believing I have no other choice? That’s a hard question. But it’s one worth asking. Because I can tell the world how much I love Jesus. I can post Scripture every morning. I can go to church five or six days a week. I can serve, pray, and talk about the Holy Spirit all day long. But if my actions don’t reconcile with the faith I’m professing, what kind of testimony am I living?

And no, that doesn’t mean I have to be perfect. Thank goodness, because we ALL know this mouth is still under construction! 😂 It means when God reveals a discrepancy in my heart, I need to stop making excuses for it - or the person for that matter.

In accounting, reconciliation isn’t pretending the discrepancy doesn’t exist. It’s identifying it, understanding it, and making the corrections necessary to establish the truth. Isn’t that a beautiful picture of repentance?

Now let’s talk about forgiveness. Because this the BIG thing Jesus has been teaching me.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

I can forgive someone without continuing a relationship with them. I can pray for someone without allowing them to keep disrupting my peace. I can love someone as Jesus commands without trusting them with the same access to my life.

Romans 12:18 tells us, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (NKJV) Notice those words: IF IT IS POSSIBLE.

Reconciliation between two people requires more than one person wanting peace. It requires honesty, accountability, and a willingness to change. Forgiveness is something I can choose even when those things aren’t present. Sometimes walking away isn’t an act of bitterness. Sometimes it’s simply recognizing that the words and actions don’t reconcile, and I cannot correct somebody else’s account for them.

I can only be responsible for mine.

And here’s the part that brings me so much peace. For years, I struggled to trust Jesus with my finances. I wanted security. I wanted control. I wanted to know exactly how everything was going to work out. Today, even with uncertainty about life and what comes next, I have something I didn’t always have before.

PEACE.

Not because I know where my next paycheck is coming from, not because I have all the answers to life, and certainly not because everybody around me is suddenly going to start doing understanding me or my thoughts on these things. I have peace because I’m learning to trust the One who has never needed me to reconcile His promises with His character.

His faithfulness isn’t just something He talks about. It’s something He demonstrates.

And now I want my own life to reflect that same kind of integrity.

I don’t want to just speak about Jesus. I want my actions to bear the fruit of someone who walks with Him. I’ve spent 14 years reconciling what other people say their books are worth, but now I’m learning to reconcile what I say my faith is worth with the way I actually live.

I BELIEVE that’s the greatest reconciliation lesson I’ve ever learned.

Prayer

Jesus, thank You for continuing to teach me, even when You have to repeat the lesson a few times! Thank You for showing me that my peace doesn’t have to depend on other people’s choices or actions towards me. Search my heart, Lord. Show me where my actions don’t match my words, where I’ve allowed fear to make my decisions, and where I’ve wandered away from the life You’re calling me to live.

Help me forgive without bitterness, establish boundaries without guilt, and love people without losing myself trying to change them. Teach me to recognize fruit, beginning with my own. And when I don’t know what tomorrow holds, remind me that I can trust the One who does.

I don’t want to simply talk about following You, Jesus. I want my life to show it.

In Jesus’ name, Amen. ❤️