My Story: Why I Had to Fight for Change

I didn't just survive one trauma - I survived multiple traumas and every single one of them led me here.

Surviving my childhood

Growing up, I was told that no one would ever love me and I was just too much. My dad instilled in me a belief that I was not worth fighting for, while I didn't really try to be close to my mom because I wasn't really into planting flowers and such; I wanted to play sports. It was not just words - it was a lifetime of abuse, neglect, and feeling like I had no way out. I reached a point where I thought about ending it all my sophomore year of high school. At one of my lowest moments, I picked up a gun and pulled the trigger and didn't mean to. I tried to block that day out for the rest of my life, but I remember the gun being heavier than I thought, a lot heavier than I thought. The bullet fired, my ears were ringing, and I could not find the bullet but I saw it hit the floor in front of me. That was enough for me, so I put it back, acted like nothing happened, and held on.

I didn't know it at the time, but God had a plan for me. A future that I never could have imagined was waiting.

Finding Purpose in Law Enforcement

A wedding, divorce, a seven month old later, now in college and eventually found a family I never had before - behind the mic of a police radio.

Working as a dispatcher for the Texas Tech Police Department, I found purpose, connection, and a way to help others. I thrived in the chaos of emergency calls ,knowing that my voice could be the difference between life and death. I know it's Texas Tech PD and it's nowhere as busy as LPD, but it did get busy and most were with people that were not even students. I guided people through their worst moments. I protected officers and the very system that would later betray me, AGAIN, but this was my first knowledge of it.

The Texas Tech Police Department became my family, and boy do I mean FAMILY! The officers loved me behind the radio, they trusted me to have their backs, and for the first time in my life, I trusted people, I felt like I belonged, and for the first time someone had my back with integrity (because I had no clue what they went through for me behind the scenes).

But even in the midst of that newfound purpose, life had more battles waiting for me.

The First Betrayal: A Corrupt System Turned Against Me - Integrity of TTU PD Behind Closed Doors

I thought that my divorce would be the start of freedom - but instead, it became another battle for survival. While I was trying to move forward, I knew that nothing would be easy with my ex-husband and his family. His mother worked for an attorney and his father was the Assistant Chief of Police in the town that they are from. Little did I know that they were working behind the scenes to destroy me. My ex had moved on, and when his new girlfriend got into a wreck, they falsely claimed I was responsible, even though I lived in Lubbock at the time... which was not the town where the wreck happened. I was never even in that town that they were from. My child was always picked up and dropped off in Lubbock, not their town. Through false accusations, apparently my ex-father-in-law was able to write a couple of fake warrants for my arrest (that I was later arrested on) in hopes to get custody of my daughter.

Lucky for me, God had my back yet again, even though I didn't know it at the time. The Sheriff that showed up to serve my warrant and arrest me had happened to know my ex-father-in-law and let me call someone to come pick up my child because he knew what they were trying to do. The second time I was arrested on these charges, I was on my way back to Lubbock from Levelland (as I was in school at SPC at the time), so my child was at daycare and not with me.

It wasn't until I was hired by the Texas Tech Police Department that the truth came out. During my background check, they discovered that my ex-husband's father had done what he did. They advised me that the Texas Rangers had been contacted and would be investigating. The corruption ran so deep that he was forced to leave his position as Assistant Chief of Police. He later applied at another place close to their home town in West Texas, but they were denied due to them knowing more than I did as well as what was shared at the Texas Tech Police Department. He lost his title, but damage had already been done. Luckily, Texas Tech Police Department never gave up on me. They saw my work ethic with Sodexho at Texas Tech sporting events and they FOUGHT FOR ME as I will ALWAYS FIGHT FOR THEM!

The Second Betrayal: A Justice System That Failed Me

I was sexually assaulted, and my rapist did what so many predators do - he lied. He ran from the truth, spent four and a half years on the run (exactly 4.5 years on the court date), and had his wife messaging me on Facebook asking me not to do this to him and his kids to make me feel sorry for them. Of course, I did and second guessed myself, but never let up. He has daughters, "shame on her as a mother," is what kept playing in my head while still feeling sorry for them.

When he finally got caught, he was arrested for exposing himself to children in a park. I thought that maybe, just maybe, justice would finally be served. But instead, the system did what it always does - it protected him. Instead of real consequences, he was extradited back to ABQ, NM, given a slap on the wrist, and sentenced a year probation.

Lied and said he was never there, but they found his DNA. Four and half years on the run. Caught preying on children. And walked away pretty much untouched.

I will however say that the officer that responded to my call was THE BEST AND HAND DELIVERED BY GOD. He waited for me while I was at the S.A.N.E. (Sexual Assault Nursing Evaluation), even as busy as their PD was. I had to wait for about an hour and a half for him, but it was so worth the wait. I honestly forgot his name, but I NEVER GOT TO TELL HIM THANK YOU AND HE IS OWED A HUGE THANK YOU!

The Third Betrayal: Brutalized by the Police

As if being failed by the justice system and a corrupt system wasn't enough, when I moved back to Texas, the very profession I had dedicated myself to turned against me. After everything that I had already endured, I found myself in another abusive situation. When my roommate was upset that I would not sleep with him, he chased me around the house repeatedly (while I was on the phone with a witness) and I was scared and could not find my keys. All that I wanted to do was leave; he was drunk and acting irate. Normally I would've been drinking and this would've made things worse, but I had just gotten home from a first date. When police arrived, I thought I had relief, but little to my knowledge, that was not the case. They knew my roommate and it went to hell. If you ever thought that was not possible with cops around, let me tell you something that caught me so off guard:

After I had just advised them that I had recently been sexually assaulted thinking that would make them calm down, it only made it worse:

• They illegally searched me

• While screaming for help and the neighbor turning around and walking back inside like he saw nothing, they drug me down the street and back - physically drug me

• They slammed my face into the ground and broke my nose while I was in handcuffs

• One officer punched me three times while I was in handcuffs and another officer sat on top of me to hold me for him to continue hitting me

• They gave me a concussion with three welts on my head, a concussion, and fractured my ribs

• One of them violated me while patting me down and stuck his hands up my shorts (while yelling at me, "You're a crazy b****, no one wants to touch you." I kept saying it out loud that he did it so that I made sure it was on camera for court.

The worst part about all of this? I used to be one of them. I saved officers, I protected them. I stood behind that thin blue line, believing in the badge. And when I needed protection? They turned on me. (I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN LUBBOCK, TEXAS)

It gets better, that was not as far as our judicial system would be willing to go in this city. The system made sure that I couldn't fight back!

• My attorney betrayed me, didn't show up to court, got me a warrant issued, and had the audacity to call me cussing at me and yelling at me to pay up or else basically. This was not shocking to me after I had just been advised the previous week about my attorney being late to my friend's court date for him, and my attorney begged my friend that day not to tell the judge about it. Basically, this friend advised me that my attorney had a SERIOUS cocaine problem. Only now, it was court date time, I had a loan out to pay that attorney (actually, I'm still paying on it). I WANT TO MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR... THIS ATTORNEY IS IN LUBBOCK, TEXAS and has since been spotted twice with evidence to back this (the person that was with me is a CPA, they would tell the truth about the state of this attorney if asked). I could've saved $10,000, and not be in debt right now to defend myself. I would be glad to give this attorney's name to anyone who asks, so that they are not put through the same thing. The worst part about it all... the CPA I was with told me that I should've used a certain attorney's office for the best results. I looked at her and advised her, "That's whose office I used!"

• I asked the PD, my attorney, the Sheriffs office, EVERYONE for my evidence, but NO ONE would turn it over. I contacted that PD NUMEROUS times to file a complaint, never got an answer. Nothing from them.

• I showed up to court that day, the judge was super hateful to me, advised that "I did NOT have court in there. It is HIS courtroom and HE would know if I had court." He was lying straight to my face and the woman in front of his office let me know that, but would not give details. The only thing that she advised me was to check with my attorney, only to my surprise when I called his office, his secretary advised that he was on vacation. This is after the attorney advised me that he had court that day. Now things are starting to add up, but I just want to be done with these corrupt people. They are there to help, not put victims through this; if we can't depend on law enforcement during this time of normalcy to something that should not be normal, who can we depend on?

• When I chose to go to trial, I showed up for court and they revoked my bond so that I couldn't expose them. They advised that I go to jail or take their charges and my attorney kept leaving me in a room to go talk to someone. Now looking back, it all makes sense (but how was someone who was never in trouble supposed to know?) Mind you, my attorney advised that we were going to kick their butts and now I'm shut down and he tells me, "I'm no conspiracy theorist, but there is something going on here." He advised me that he told the judge he didn't show up, but he didn't. EVERYTHING MY ATTORNEY EVER SAID TO ME WAS A LIE! My attorney did not only tell this to me, he told it to a US Marshall friend of mine that was on the phone to make sure that I was not missing ANY details before I made ANY decision.

• In the end, I was forced onto probation, paying out the rear, while the officers who brutalized me walk free and my attorney continues to do cocaine and probably screw others besides my friend and I over. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT I CAN NEVER BE A DISPATCHER EVER AGAIN BECAUSE OF THIS!!!

The Birth of S.T.R.O.N.G.E.R.

After everything I had endured - the abuse, the assault, the betrayal of the courts and law enforcement, as well as the brutality of law enforcement - I knew one thing:

I HAD TO FIGHT!

I created S.T.R.O.N.G.E.R. because I refuse to let another survivor be silenced.

• Because police brutality is real (and not only to colored people)

• Because corruption in the court is real.

• Because survivors shouldn't be criminalized while their abusers are protected.

• Because no one should ever be told that their life doesn't matter.

• No young woman should ever be where I was as a kid and miss out on life. I missed 37 years of life before I found Jesus and put it all together.

At S.T.R.O.N.G.E.R. we are fighting for legal reform, police accountability, and a system that actually protects survivors instead of punishing them.

This isn't just a movement - it's my life's mission.

I have been through more than just this. I have beaten cancer twice, survived being misdiagnosed for 14 years, and lost my dream of joining the Army-the only thing I ever wanted to do-because of doctor's mistakes. But through all of that, I found my true purpose.

I want to speak to young women-especially those with daddy issues, abandonment wounds, or a past that makes them feel unworthy. The truth is, you cannot truly love yourself until you love Jesus. No amount of relationships, distractions, or searching for validation will fill that void-only He can.

Who better to share that message than someone who once knew nothing about Jesus (except what was shared on trips to and from basketball, volleyball, or track meets), who lived inn pain, confusion, and emptiness-and now loves Him more than anything?

I had to distance myself from everyone to truly figure out who I was-not who my mother said I was, not who my dad said I was, not who the neighbor thought I was, and definitely not who Lubbock thought I was. I used to always want to be "popular" until I realized that I truly believe that Lubbock is like the Cross Canadian Ragweed song: "You're always 17 in Your Hometown." People love to remember the bad, but nobody ever seems to want to talk about the good. I've learned that my worth is not defined by anyone or their opinion-only by God. Now, with new friends, seems like old acquaintances, and actually a year and two months sober to the day I updated this (03/05/25), here I am spreading God's truth, starting with GOD IS NOT DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, despite whatever has happened in your past or who others THINK that you are!

S.T.R.O.N.G.E.R. is about redemption, healing, and finding your true worth in Christ. I am here to show others that no matter how broken your past is, Jesus can and will restore you!

Now, let's fight back!